The Annual Championships of 2017 took place in the Cross Keys Pub on Saturday 25th November 2017, followed by the Annual Dinner at the Wing Fat Chinese Restaurant.
The fantastic sum of £158.50 was raised for Charity purely from the entrance fee and fines imposed for transgressions of ‘Spoof Etiquette’
All the scores from the initial 2 schools, Final and Wooden Spoon table are below.
2017 Spoof Champion – Mr Foster
2017 Master of Etiquette – Mr Hawkins
2017 Champion of the Wooden Spoon – Mr Harrison Snr
After the weeks of tense build up, the 2017 Annual Championships lived up to the pre match billing……
Tonight’s Gonna be a Good night (by Mr Foster…. about Mr Foster !)
The annual championships, participated in by only the founder members of PGS, were graced for the first time by the competitors being immaculately attired in the ‘Penkridge Colours’ of yellow and blue. As can be seen by the plentiful ‘action’ shots, the matching bow ties and handerkerchiefs added a true sense of comradeship, camaraderie and initial friendliness amongst the gathered brethren.
Most members rose to the challenge of showing their true gentlemanly pedigree, by producing a bow tie of suitable quality from the purchase of Chinese handmade silk garments. I say most, as there were 3 missing ‘Dickies’ and one missing ‘kerchief’ on arrival, soon rectified by a hasty dash back across the canal by Mr Foster and the persuasion by Mr Turner, Mr Harrison Snr and Mr Harrison Jnr of others to garnish their collars with a suitable bow, a service that was not, I stress not, in all cases recompensed by an alcoholic beverage. (These faux pas’ in their attire are still subject to a ‘fine’ review)
Soon to evaporate, the friendliness a distant memory, the hush settled upon the calling of order by our esteemed Chairman and the drawing of 2 schools of 5 members.
The essential pre game preparation began : Drinks ordered, Table Etiquette under strict observance, Chair of Sippers delegated , traditional coins in place, scorers briefed and steely determination etched on faces (some are uncannily permanent) …. and finally the call….
‘Gentlemen, When the hands are out…..’
What transpired over the next 2 hours, as seen in the table scores below, can only be described as a mixture of elation and glory (respectfully of course) with heartbreak and exclamations of ‘If only‘ … ‘Unbelievable’ … ‘Quite remarkable’ … ‘Oh God, not Mr Foster, please someone stop Mr Foster’ (editors note : that last quote came via social media amidst a host of disapproving grunts and sighs)
As the scores were evaluated to form the constituents of the Final and Wooden Spoon tables, it became clear that the fall from grace of Mr Turner, 2016 Champion, was complete, as the Wooden Spoon table beckoned him to become its latest recipient. However, an hour later this fall was somewhat cushioned by Mr Harrison Snr as he scored a zero in the very last game to spare the reigning champion his blushes.
Back in the Premier league, the 5 competitors for the Champions Trophy were made up from the top 2 in each school and the ‘very fortunate winner’ (editors prerogative) of a 3rd place play off between Mr Harrison Jnr and Mr Hawkins.
It was a star studded final, packed with Spoofage heavyweights… with claims that the absent lightweights were unlikely to have made inroads to the glory table.
In a story of what could have been, particularly for Mr Kilkenny, the trophy recipient was unclear until a high 5 by Mr Foster in the last round confirmed his victory and the onset of relentless and merciless digs, pictures and social media postings for an ongoing eternity.
Eyebrows were raised as far away as Northern Thailand and Bolton, bookmakers were reeling, rumours of ‘Don Foster’ and mafia corruption abound…….
Congratulations to a worthy and determined winner (even if accompanied by a skewiff bow tie, late handkerchief entry and dodgy mafia suit) He remained totally focused, never drawn into any old chit chat, shunning distraction, with a glint in his eye that said ‘I have this under control’ (the only blot on his copybook being the 17 ‘fines’ on the etiquette scoreboard)
An excellent evening amongst good people, doing the Society and ancient art proud.